Heart, Spirit & Mind

Getting over a breakup with a soul mate

| 45 Comments

Heart breaking apartWhat do you do when you meet the man of your dreams, and at the very apex of your relationship, when everything seems to be going so well, suddenly ends it with you?

As someone who has been through this, and who has counseled others through this, I’m going to tell you, it won’t matter if he gives you a legitimate reason, or if he tells you nothing. Understanding ‘why’ won’t give you the closure you need.

When you have shared intimacies with someone, it always hurts to lose them, especially if you were best friends before you became intimate.  In my case, I shared things with him that I shared with no one, I trusted him like no one.  So when he ended the relationship with me, it invalidated EVERYTHING we shared.  It’s just too difficult to believe that two people could be as close as Siamese twins and then one of the people can walk away easily and not look back.

You feel you’ve been hit by a train.  You feel sad, disillusioned, confused.  You feel under appreciated, used and taken for granted.  It makes your self-esteem plummet and you begin to question your judgment.  Every moment you shared with that person leaves you wondering if that moment was real or fake.

I read somewhere that standard formulas for healing aren’t effective when you are grieving over someone that was closer to you than anyone else you met in your life.

We have to move these important people out of the center of our thoughts, suspend our beliefs about them and our relationship, and move them to into another place. We need to box them up in our hearts, in our minds to review when our feelings are less raw and more stable.

It’s very difficult and painful to do this because we have a particularly strong attachment bond to them. Losing that attachment is very painful. We go through many different emotions from denial, anger, depression, sadness.  Finally we move to acceptance and adaptation. But it doesn’t happen in this sequence. It often cycles back and forth through these stages.  Just when you feel like you are “OK”, then something triggers pain, and you feel like you are starting again. It takes a very long time to work through this kind of grief, and loss.

For me, the minute we met we clicked.  The electricity between us was always there.  Others noticed it far sooner than we did.  We went from being acquaintances, to friends, to best friends to lovers over a very long stretch of time.  This was someone that I could tell anything without shame. This is someone who shared his deepest secrets with me.  This is someone who shared so many common interests that even WE were shocked to discover our compatibility. We never ran out of things to talk about and conversations were both fun and stimulating.  I didn’t get romantically involved with a stranger I got involved with my best friend, someone who I had known for years.  So naturally my heart was less guarded. I trusted him with my heart so much that I never thought he would hurt and deceive me the way he did.  Your best friend would never do this to you.

I gave him the best parts of myself. I gave him my devotion and my support. I gave my inner self to someone who didn’t treasure it.  I was worth fighting for, and holding on to. He didn’t do it. I respected him far more than he respected me. I loved him more than he loved me. It was only after external circumstances made things rough, and our relationship ended, that I learned these feelings “we” shared were not mutual.

Let’s not even talk about the betrayal of the heart.  How does one get over such a profound betrayal of your friendship? The problem was that he wasn’t fully committed to choosing me to be in his life, but he didn’t feel compelled to tell me this when we became involved. Instead he encouraged me to see hope when I was cynical.  He faked a future with me telling me what I wanted to hear, which only made things more devastating in the end.  No one wants to be lied to in any way, but especially on that scale.

I hate to think of him as a bad person, a person who lied, controlled and manipulated me, during possibly every moment of time he shared with me.  I hate to think he was selfish and self-centered. I hate to believe that everything we shared was an illusion. I can’t believe this because what does it say about me and my ability to size up a person and a situation? I believed every word he said, and so when he didn’t deliver, my world went crashing down.

Obviously I misjudged the strength of our bond.  The worst part about this is that despite understanding the very complex reasons of why, it still doesn’t make the situation feel better.

It can take a lot of time to go through the phases of healing following a breakup of this kind of love. The  pain, anger and suffering are very normal in the aftermath of such devastation. Time will pass and time heals all wounds.

We usually get over something like this because we let go and start forgetting about it or get involved in something else that occupies our time and mind. These are the normal steps in the process of letting go, but are not necessarily the healthiest way to deal with it.

This crisis of the soul is an opportunity to personally grow in ways that assure you that you never have to go through it again.

There are three areas of personal growth that will best serve you at this time. (1) Emotional. (2) Lessons Learned. (3) Cleaning House.

  1. Emotional
    This is a time of severe distress, pain, anger and anguish. These emotional states are particularly intense. How you respond to these emotions can make a huge difference in self-healing, self-nurturing and self-loving. In dealing with these emotions there are two directions you can go. The first is to focus on your lost partner and how they brought unwanted feelings into your life. The other, is to learn to better care for your own feelings and bring them to a state of inner healing. It is very easy to expend a lot of energy focusing on the hurt caused. This kind of suffering is almost addictive.  Take this pain and seize it as a opportunity to change and focus. Learn to do some inner healing. In the end you be a stronger person better equipped for future relationships. You will also be less susceptible to emotional manipulation.
  2. Lessons Learned
    Often we learn the wrong lessons. We learn not to trust people and protect ourselves the next time around.  This ultimately messes up new relationships and holds us back from the love and joy we truly desire and deserve. These erroneous lessons will only hurt us and keep us suffering in the future. The important lessons to learn about having healthy successful relationship is to not repeat the mistakes just made.
  3. Cleaning  House
    This is an opportunity to gain clarity and discover your role in this relationship. Healthy relationships are a matter of each partner taking full responsibility for how things are now, and where they are going. By not taking responsibility for your part of the relationship, you turn yourself into a victim of the person who abused your trust.  You disempower yourself.

It might be hard to think about the future in a positive way immediately.  But the only way to assure a different kind of future is to use this situation to learn, self-heal, grow and change yourself.

45 Comments

  1. I have been reading quite a few articles and I must say that you’ve done such a great job explaining everything. I swear, as I was reading some of the articles it felt as if someone who knew me better than I knew myself had typed this up. Thanks !! (:

  2. I felt like I was saying this from my own heart. Someone I’ve known and loved for more than 20 years broke my heart in the same was as you described. It’s been well over a year and I feel like a bond still exist and it’s so strong that I continue to hurt and I don’t want too. He was not the person that I thought he was and yet and still I love him, I always will and that sucks so badly. There has not been a day that I haven’t thought about him since it ended. There is so much more to my story but it’s not worth telling. I just want it to be over in my heart cause I’ve accepted it in my mind.

  3. I understand all these issues but, I still now this person is my soul mate, and I am not sure how to cleanse him from me being. It’s been over 8yrs now and i feel empty also that I can’t breath at some points.

  4. Thanks for this article.
    I already thought i was losing my mind. I feel exactly the way you describe it but I am not able to put it into words.
    I helps a lot to know that others experienced the same.

  5. I just had a 16 year relationship end with the girl of my dreams and my soulmate. She broke up with me suddenly and was seeing someone else within a week. I assume it was going on while we were still together since she had been acting strangely in recent times. The worst part is she still continues to deny that she is with this person and makes up complex stories about why she is always with him. I know the truth since her mother told me.

    I’m going through all of these emotional swings; from anger, depression, and sadness. Some days I think I can start to accept things and then I see something on Facebook or some other thing that reminds me of her and brings it all back. I have just today decided to block all contact on FB since that has been the root of most of my anguish. I saw a picture of the 2 of them this morning after she had just told me last week they weren’t together and that he was dating a friend of hers. I’ve also cut off all contact with her.

    All of her lies have made me wonder if any our relationship was actually real. She is a compulsive liar and I don’t know what was real or fake. This article has helped me a great deal since I am experiencing all of those feelings. I truly hope that time heals these wounds because they have damaged me to the soul.

  6. Mixer. It sounds like you may be dealing with someone who has a personality disorder. Their feelings are real at the moment they express them. They just do not have a sense of object constancy. You will get over the wounds. It takes time and a lot of soul searching.

  7. hsm: I think are correct. I truly believe that she believes her own lies. I’ve caught her in lies many times throughout our relationship and she would make up complex stories to try to cover them even though I already knew the truth. And even when I would present her with evidence she would never admit to her wrongdoings.

    What I’m really dealing with at this point is why I couldn’t bring myself to leave her when I knew she was such a deceitful person. I hate myself for allowing her to treat me the way she did and leaving me feeling so broken now.

    I hope you’re right that I will get over these wounds because it has affected every aspect of my life.

    Thank you.

  8. This story is IDENTICAL to the situation I’m in. I feel like God lead me to this article. Thank you for sharing, and the advice here was much needed

  9. I needed this article so badly. My soultmate ended things with me on Thanksgiving after being in Korea for a few months with the Army. He instead has decided that a woman from Korea is a better fit for him than I. What makes it worse is that not only did we ahve the checmistry and we were best friends, but he has PTSD and when he was unlovable, I loved him. On his worst days, I was there. When he was sad, I did everything in my power to make him happy. I stuck by him when many ohter women would have bailed becasued loving someone with PTSD is not easy. I joining a support group for PTSD supporter and read tons of books. I can’t even fathom that he will find another woman who he shares that chemisty with, has those things in common with and is willing to do anything to help him with his PTSD. I can’t even understand. My heart is so broken, I can’t stop crying and I feel empty and hopeless. I feel like I have nothing to live for.

  10. This article actually helped a little. I was with the girl of my dreams, my soul mate, my absolute best friend and she suddenly broke it off. She gave me all these reasons and exuses that made a lot of sense but i could tell she was lying. We were so close i would take a bullet for her, i would murder for her, i would cut my own hand off for her, of course i could tell she was lying. The worse part is, she still loves me. She never loved me nearly as much as i love her, but she still loves me. Her friends are forcing her to be alone and work on her future. Not an hour has gone by where i dont think of her. Or suicide. But i cant let myself fall down and sulk. Every day i put on this happy facade for everyone around me and every day it takes a little piece out of me. I die inside a little bit more every day. We were together for so long. ¦'(

    • Courtisimo, I hope you are stronger now. I am going through this since December now. It seems some days I get better , but I keep wondering how he is doing and don’t know how to take it when he get’s involved with someone else although I want him to be happy. Each person I meet, makes me think of him so I can’t be with them. It’s hard when you are trapped in feelings that stay with someone else and try to move on and go with the flow. I have to try to convince myself that if it were meant to be , it would have happened. Yeah, but what if I did things to ruin it? I hope everyone on here will find peace. I can only pray to ignore my true feelings and move on.

  11. I’m crying as I read this. So many broken people out there. I’m one of them. No doubt we were soul mates. I need to stop dwelling on the past. I need to let her go. It’s been nearly two years now. I just don’t know how. So sad :(

  12. Thank you for writing this article. My story is a carbon copy of yours. I have struggled with trying to find closure with the loss of my soulmate for 4 years now. I was extremely reluctant to allow her to get soo deeply into my heart and honestly I wish now that I had never known love that deep.

    • I’m in the very same situation. Reading this article and these comments I just cried harder than I have since I was a kid. I am now 39. I have lost my soulmate and don’t think I’ll ever fully recover. Love that deep is unexplainable to others who haven’t found it. It is also a blessing and a curse at the same time. I wish everyone here the best of luck with healing.

  13. Thanks for this article. I feel the same way. This guy I met through business kept telling me we were soul mates. At first I didn’t believe it and wasn’t sure If I should keep talking to him and I even tried to avoid him a few times because of our distance (He lived in one state and I lived in another) and other things. We met and it was a wonderful experience until some events happened. Long story short he claims he is in love with two women and had to sort his feelings and here I am depressed, hurt, and confused. He said he loved me and didn’t want anyone else and a whole lot of other “love phrases” I don’t think he was ever being honest with me the whole time we’ve talked and now I question if he really meant anything he said to me. I’m not sure if I’ll ever get over this.

    • Pam, I feel the same way. It’s hard to not know the end results when something just ends in a way that you didn’t expect it to as well. It’s easy for others to say move on, but the thoughts don’t just go way like that or the feelings . When you feel that you belong with someone else, it’s hard to want to be with another person at times. I never felt like this about other men, so it’s harder on me.

  14. Wow….this article has really spoken to me. I was in a serious relationship for 15 years and the the love of my life left me. I knew we were growing apart because our lives were soo stagnant but I would never have imagined that he would leave me when I needed him the most, right before major surgery. He told
    me that he needed to move on with his life and ‘fill the void’ that I am leaving in his heart. He says he still loves me and cares for me and wants me to be happy too. Then he tells me 3 months later he is probably going to get married to this new girl he is talking to. I don’t understand men. How can you just try and replace 15 years of history and love in 3 months?? I’m doing my best to be positive but I just don’t understand how a soul mate can just hop to the next person in such a short time.

  15. Someone once told me I only hurt the ones I love. Seems when I get close to someone , I find a reason to make the relationship go bad. Fearing that it will end sometimes will make you want to be the one to end it first, I guess. Well , this one man I met and kept communicating in another state pushed me to find myself. Really find me, yet losing him due to so much of my silly behavior. I never felt so torn apart , like I could just loose it when we parted ways. He seemed to be the right one that I have waited for most of my life. I blew it and had to watch him walk away and I couldn’t fix it. I feared it would end with us somehow, and it did. I keep thinking that somehow no matter what , we will get this all together and like a fantasy or in the movies, we will have a happy ending one day. Major thing is that I can’t stop replaying how things ended and how we were so excited to be getting together prior to the turbulance. Some things you cant seem to fix but it seemed that it was meant to be. I just want him back in my life. I feel like a part of me died somehow. I don’t feel complete and had not good closure to this. Will I always feel incomplete is my question. He told me that I didn’t love him , when I said I did. Truth is I really do. I can’t fix this and it hurts a lot. Is that a soul mate when it’s like this?

    • How do you go on life living, knowing the one you love, will never hold you in his arms again? When his arms are all you want around you. How do you stop wanting him? How do you stop crying for him? I have so many questions in my heart God help me. Why couldn’t he choose us.

      • You work each day to be kind yourself and find fulfillment in your own activities. If it was true love, there will always be a place in your heart for him. Celebrate the love you had because it was real for you. And then metaphorically, put it into your memory box and store it away.

  16. After reading this i just felt like it read a play by play of what happened to me. You guys have been trying to forget your former signifacant others for years and I was only dumped 3 months ago after 9 years of being together. We were together so long and shared so much that I knew we would never part but now Im just a shell of my former self. Nothing brings me joy anymore and the old cliche’ of watching my phone, hoping she would call is messing me up. I dont know how Ill survive because everyday is like a struggle to not call her, show up at her place, her job etc.

  17. Please read about avoidant abuse. Its on facebook as well. The reason you are hurting is because you still do not fully understand what happened to you. It is NOT narcissism or sadim or psychopathy necessarily – but it IS abuse. When you understand avoidant abuse you will be able to comprehend what took place in its entirety. Very basically, understanding avoidant abuse enables us to SEPARATE the grief of no longer being with the person, from the toxic pain of being abused – disvalued, discarded, invalidated etc. Understanding avoidant abuse will help you to retain all the GOOD parts of your relationship experience which nourish you life and your soul and bring you happiness – permanently – while no longer remaining a victim to the abuse and not jut overcoming it and overtaking it, but also growing and expanding in your happiness without denial or deletion. This is the only way to reach peace, closure and finally be able to ‘get over it’.

  18. Well said! I feel your pain and ultimately your spot on about the recover we cant be a victim , i would love to talk to you share experience strength and hope with each other. Im on 16 months of single after devastating breakup..and im still reading articles its crazy..hope to hear from you.

  19. I have felt that pain and devastation ,my break up was at Xmas last year ,this whole year I have been consumed with grief and disbelief ,my ex met someone else within one week had moved in within the month …where did the love go ?? I ask myself daily ,it is coming up to Xmas soon ,I can’t believe my whole year has been taken up with grief ..my soul mate ,best friend. Companion,lover ..gone
    It is beginning to soften. The bad days are not so regular ,I am beginning to. See some light ..but I don’t think I can love another with the same passion I once had ..
    Peace to all who read these articles ,you are not alone !

  20. The past is a gaping hole. You try to run from it, but it consumes you no matter what. And as I walked away from the pool of my own puke, I realized: this shit will never be over.

    I loved her since the first moment I met her on the bus station. Dreamed every night of her.

    I lost 20 pounds (looking like a starving person) in the first half year, when she cheated on me the whole time. I made things together with her, I never dreamed to be possible.

    Now she is gone and she is lying to me. We were together for exactly 3 years. I feel so numb, sad, angry and alone.

    Meeting new girls is really no problem, never was – but she was my soulmate. I never wanted to hurt her, but she did it the whole time to me – until I did it to her.

    I will never trust anyone again. She hates me, or worse she doesn t care at all about me. But I still love her.

    We had a song together – our song – and in trying to let her go, I was catching the wind with a net, buried it and sang the song we both loved. The whole time tears were running down my face.

    You are my brother. I will always love you, no matter what you do. I hope you find what you are searching for.

    I will think about you, as far as my feet will carry me!

  21. well i am not alone broken heart it seems….please god help all of us ….i want to live again…

    • God’s love is unconditional – He IS LOVE – open your heart to Him and He will heal your broken heart, take your pain, give you clarity and a New heart and spirit. He loves you with an everlasting love, which is pure and good. You are worthy to be loved and to love in return

  22. This article described my feelings better than I ever could have. I’m not one to cry much but this article sure did the trick! Being blindsided by the person that was your everything is truly a traumatic experience, and it leaves you feeling like half of a person. No one else – not even my wonderful family members or friends – can fill this hole in my heart. No one else’s arms can be a substitute for his. But there is comfort in knowing that I am not the only person to experience this. Best wishes to all of us. We will get through this. There are better days ahead, and we deserve them.

  23. Still very sad a month after my breakup happened. We were together for a year, and a half, and right now I feel like I lost my soul mate. Now we don’t even talk at all, and we’re not talking. We work together, and I say hi, and goodnight, or goodbye, but she just ignores me.

    I want to work things out, and I’m trying to have an open mind to move on, but every time I see her at work the wound reopens. I have no idea on what to do with my life. I’m focusing on being as healthy as possible, but it seems like nothing helps.

    I really want my girlfriend back, but I have no idea the correct steps to take in attempting this.

  24. Wow, so many people with broken hearts, mine too is broken. I don’t know what it is like to have a relationship with someone for a long time and have them be a romantic partner/soulmate. I have had short VERY powerful involvements with a few people who I could only describe as being a soulmate. This has happened to me recently yet again. It is so crazy, he came into my life while I was in a toxic relationship with someone I couldn’t get free of, a divine intervention if you will. Yet our interactions became sexual very quickly but we both knew that our souls were connected as well, so this was a part of the moving fast. What I think solidified us was He would come meet me in my dreams each night, he had angel wings one side was normal but the other side was stunted. He would hold me in his arms, in the way I have always wanted to be held. He knew me to my core… we had a telepathic connection. The problem we had was when he saw me he became so aroused he lost his speech, like for real, the kundelini energy was too much for him, and he turned into a possessed person, someone else different from who I met. We both realized it was unhealthy but wanted to try. We took several breaks and came back to each other. The last time was when I traveled to do an intensive spiritual journey of my own and attempted to understand both myself and in relation to him. While I was away he sent me an email saying he thought we should end it and that it wasn’t healthy and that he was going to date other people. I had asked him to be patient and wait and try to figure things out on his own until I got back and we could maybe have more clarity. He decided it wasn’t worth while. I was upset, it’s not that I didn’t see it coming, I was really hoping that maybe there was some way. I think the hardest part has been us not meeting each other in our dreams any more, he has been the one person who knows where to find me in the spirit world, knows who I am intrinsically. He was an anchor for me, the one who let me know everything would be okay. Now I just spend my nights in the dream world searching for him. He’s like an apparition, I am beginning to feel crazy, I wake up crying, I fall asleep crying. The grief is so much more than I thought it would be. I haven’t been able to really let go because I felt that there was something real between us, and now I don’t know what to believe, it’s as if everything has vanished, and I am left with these powerful feelings and memories but no one is there…I feel at a loss.

  25. Wow…it was as if someone opened my heart, and wrote about what they found inside. It’s comforting to know that other people have gone through the exact same thing. Every day, I ask, how do I move on from this, and I don’t know if I’ll ever know the answer. The truth is, I feel as though I have been losing my soulmate since the day I found him. The moment I laid eyes on him, I knew. And every moment thereafter just confirmed it. We were best friends for a year, then lovers for a year. But he has chosen a life other than us. And it has destroyed me. I feel alone, and I feel pathetic. But even though he broke his promises, I’m not ready to break mine. I don’t know how to release my soulmate from my heart.

    • The exact same thing just happened to me. I have lost my soulmate and my best friend and it feels like the end of the world. It is such a lonely and confusing place to be in because you feel so lost and you don’t know what to do next. I hope you find the comfort and strenght you need and just know you are definitely aren’t alone in this.

  26. I was recently broken up w (over a month ago) & I’m still very devastated. All you wrote about getting thru the emotions, etc really resinates w me. The hardest part is feeling like I was thrown away as trash. & it’s very hard to accept that all the “I’m so in love w you” & all the future talk was never real. Or was it? I hope to get thru to trusting again, but right now I don’t. I don’t even trust my own judgement as you mentioned & that is very scary. Thank you for the article.

  27. I read your article feeling everything you’re talking about but I was looking for a quick fix I’ve been with this man for over 21 years I left my home my job to move with this person and now it’s over and I’m hurting confused and don’t want to deal with it

  28. We were together for 7 years. We were soul mates…more..I believe we were twin flames. He decided we were done 20 years ago. I was 25 years old. He still hunts me …I still miss him so much and I still cry for him. It was a soul connection…a spiritual one….I’m OK for months at a time and it comes back again….20 years ago! 1996. Like someone else mentioned…a curse and a blessing.

  29. I had an almost identical situation in the late 1990´s. The humiliating end took place in Christmas, 1999 and I felt angry, hurt like hell and I was like a living dead for months. Just if I had been brutally murdered. However, the disaster initiated a huge spiritual growth and I went through ALL my suppressed feelings and traumas since birth. Although this was very painful and even scary, I felt it was important to do so. I was right, after the job was done, I felt purified and newborn.

    I have had relationships after him, even loved other men, but usually these relationships have been doomed from the beginning. I am now in a relationship that has last for 7 years and we have a child together, but we a currently like roommates, nothing more.

    I still have all the reasons to believe that HE was my true soulmate. We actually had a second chance about 9 years ago and he tried to explain why he treated my as badly as he did. It had obviously bugged him for years. I´m glad for his apology but I had already forgiven him years earlier. Our second chance also ended up to a break but after this I wasn´t so devastated as earlier. He often “haunts” me in my dreams with same themes: he is willing to approach me and I feel happy, but then he always finds out that he has to give a chance to some other women. That´s how it went in the real life as well.

  30. Wow thankyou for your article. It exactly describes what has happened to me over the last couple of days, so the cycle of emotions of acceptance, then anger, then sadness, confusion, love, loneliness and then back at the start again, are what i am going through right now. I know the Universe had brought us together for a purpose and our seperation must also serve a purpose. Perhaps with time, once the tears are cleared from my eyes I shall see more clearly what this purpose is.
    For now I must accept that my heart aches tremendously and the memories and feelings will never be erased from my mind and heart but I must learn to move on- somehow.

  31. Thank you a girl just broke up with me and ever since we met there was complete and now that she ended thing its like before I had small star like points it was still night but there were small things to navigate by and then she came along like a very bright light and now this small point I can’t see hopefully this article will make it better to cope thank you

  32. So saddened at all these comments. I was in a distructive relationship as described above. The love was so deep, the connection so strong and the chemistry!!! But it destroyed me. The lies were quite creative but boring in the end. What’s kept me strong since we finally split is my spiritual beliefs. I write gratitude everyday, stay strong for my friends Nd family and know that I need to love myself 1st and be there for other people which I can’t do if I’m being destroyed. I escaped the relationship which was cruel and 1 way to say the least by giving it my absolute best shot and when it didn’t work I could think I’ve done my best. I think we should always put are love in the highest and ourselfs. Codependency is a trap that feels amazing at the time but is not healthy. It’s funny becouse reading through the comments someone says the person they had a soul mate relationship had a personality disorder; I came to this conclusion myself and had helped me forgive. Always try to keep your heart open, search for knowledge to help your personal growth, serve others and love yourself. I know it’s not easy and my heart goes out to every case. I was in a black hole in my relationship but I’m coming out the others use by staying positive I believe the universe rewards me. Xxxxxxxxxx

  33. For 40 years i felt i would never meet my soulmate and best friend and then i did 2 years of being together every day doing everything together never felt so much love and being happy my partner even wanted us to be buried together when we had both past on our love was so special then 7 days ago i found out my partner had someoneknew and told me were done and has moved in with this new partner just like i was turned off like a tv and the new partner was turned on in replacement and it was only 2 weeks ago i was asked marriage and to sign a lease together for a house and the same day my partner moved in with the new love i was still asked if we were signing a lease together now im away on a holiday that we were supposed to be on together alone wondering why and givien no answers and told to go away and dont care and hate directed at me and avo threats my partner had even denied that they even knew this person and the new love has seen messages showing this and that there was cheating going on behind both our backs yet they continue the relasionship what kind of person does this switches 2 years of everyday adoring love off and promises and tells me wants to be buried with me when we both pass on and marriage asked me 2 weeks ago im in shock pain hurt abandoned and feel so much pain and anger and why asking why

  34. I’m LOST I don’t know what to do. My man wouldn’t answer my calls then a woman picked up and said you have the wrong number. I then just lashed out and called his brother and told his brother everything he had been lying about. Then he finally picked up and he told me the girl was one of his uber customers. Then I felt like complete shit bc I think his brother kicked him out or disowned him. Idk. I reacted off of hurt and anger now I know I won’t ever get him back. I destroyed him from my anger and I feel so stupid and lost now.

  35. Thank you. I thought I was losing my mind. But all emotions are normal. I gave my husband Greg 20yrs. He cheated and moved out. Blindsided. And he lied to chat room ladies saying that Im the one who cheated. I guess he will catch the Karma bus one day. He isnt even faithful to the new flavor of the month Carol. Amo

  36. Like so many others here, I brokeup with my soulmate 5 years ago. She was the girl of my dreams and with her I felt a love from deep within my soul that I’ve never felt before. She came with 3 kids from 2 previous relationships. She and her adorable kids stole a massive piece of my heart, one that I just haven’t been able to replace since. I loved her to the moon and back but had trouble accepting her love back. I had trouble telling her how I felt and felt a fear of not being good enough for her and her kids. She grew tired of waiting for me to decide what I wanted and ended our relationship with a very nasty email. The breakup has given me severe depression and a fear of the future. I’ve also struggled with wanting to end my life. I havent had the courage to date anyone since through fear of this all happening again. She was everything to me, someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

  37. Why does this have to be about a man leaving? I don’t know why, but that really angers me. I was searching for an article on feeling as if I’ve lost my soulmate and then reading about a man? Come on …

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