Heart, Spirit & Mind

How to fine-tune your relationship

Fine tuning relationshipPeople often believe that a sign of a good relationship is one that is free of fighting and squabbling.  Unfortunately, that is a misconception.

The truth is that happy relationships still have their ups and downs.  While it is not pleasant to have disagreements, they don’t have to mean the end of your relationship.  It takes a lot of maturity to be in a relationship with another person. There will always be issues that need to be resolved and obstacles to overcome.  When done constructively, relationships will build stronger bonds.  If done unconstructively, it can lead to unhappy relationships.

Even the best partnership has areas that could stand growth.  Here is a guild to help improve your relationship:

  1. Fight.  No one enjoys arguments and one can make a case that it is harmful to a relationship.  When couples fight, it is a sign that they still care about the relationship and each other.  It is when indifference sets in that the relationship is in deep trouble.   When there are problems in the relationship, they aren’t going to be resolved by ignoring them.  When one ignores the issues in the relationship, those issues tend to magnify to a point of no return. When you argue, at least there is hope that you could resolve the issue, if done constructively.
  2. Allow each other to grow.  As people age, they change and they grow.  It’s easy to see a person as they once were rather than seeing them as they are.  When we embrace change it can be extremely beneficial to a relationship.
  3. Cooperation.  When you operate as a team, you make decisions together, and you discuss issues that are important.  It is very important to always put your relationship first, above all other relationships even those with children and parents.  When you put your partner first, you make them feel valued and loved.
  4. Keep the fire alive. When you make a choice to show appreciation to your partner every day it creates a feeling of intimacy, if even for a minute.  You can do this by sending them a text letting them know you are thinking of them, or stopping to give them a tender kiss when you return from work. The important thing is to keep those embers alive.
  5. Show gratitude. It is easy to forget all the wonderful things your partner does for you while getting wrapped up in the negative. A good exercise is to keep a daily gratitude journal writing down the things you are grateful in your life. It makes it easier to remember the reasons why you are with your partner when things are not going as planned.
  6. Communicate. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the drumming of daily life. Take the time and ask your partner how they are doing and tell them you love them.  Give them a chance to share their every day ups and downs. Listen carefully.  These actions will be appreciated and keep the relationship moving in a positive direction.

These are some very simple rules that will help fine-tune your relationship.

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