Comments for Heart, Spirit, Mind

Comment on Relationships with emotionally immature people by David

David — Thu, 12 Dec 2013 20:07:21 +0000

Hsm,
What an amazing article. An absolute mirror in every detail of my own experience with a woman i love.

Dear Amanda, i have sent you the link in this article with hope in my heart that you will read it, accept it for what it is and make every available effort to seek the help that you so desperately need for the traumatic events that hve locked you in a state of emotional immaturity. Know that you are loved by your family, friends, your children and me. Even patrick still loves you i’m sure. David xxx

Comment on Relationships with emotionally immature people by PAUL

PAUL — Wed, 04 Dec 2013 07:57:17 +0000

WHO EVER RESEARCHED AND WROTE THIS ARTICLE IS A BRILLANT MIND AND I SINCERELY THANK YOU FOR WHAT YOU HAVE SHARED WITH THE AFFECTED. I HAVE PERSONALLY SEEN AND LIVED THROUGH THE TOTAL MADNESS CREATED BY A PERSON CURSED WITH ADULT EMOTIONAL IMMATURITY. I DID NOT EVEN KNOW THE DISORDER OR CHARACTER FLAW HAD A NAME. IT SEEMS THE MORE EMOTIONALLY MATURE THE BALANCED ONE IS IN THE RELATIONSHIP THE MORE MADDENING IT BECOMES. YOUR CHARACTERIZATION AND DESCRIPTION OF THE AEI PERSONA IS SO ABSOLUTE THAT I SWEAR I WROTE IT MYSELF. YOU HAVE PROVIDED A HUGE UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT DESTROYED A SEEMING CARING AND LOVING RELATIONSHIP. I ONLY WISH THE PERSON HARMED HAD A CLUE WHAT WAS COMING, BUT THEN DECEPTION IS A POWERFUL SKILL. THANK YOU, PAUL

Comment on Contact by Lisa

Lisa — Thu, 19 Sep 2013 19:32:47 +0000

Thank you for coming to me just in the nick of time <3

Comment on When apologies are only words by hsm

hsm — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 02:59:18 +0000

People don’t change unless they really want to change. The root of most conflict is almost always based on insecurity which is based on fear. If she gets angry easily it may be because she feels your comments are a referendom on her. It may be your delivery, or, it simply may be that she isn’t emotionally mature enough to handle constructive criticsm.

People’s personalities are pretty well formed by the time they are 25. It takes a tremendous amount of work to truly transform oneself and most of the work usually involves work on self. If you still love her and you think it can work then go to couples therapy and learn how to better communicate with each other in ways that don’t put the other person on defensive. Things like, “When you say this thing, I feel this.” Always turn things around and use the “I” voice rather than “You”. Your last sentence however sounds like you already know what is necessary to do, but are looking for advice to steer you on another path. Only you alone can make those decisions and part of that may very well be accepting inconvenient truths. This is all I can go with. Your message was short and not detailed. Feel free to write more if you want to clarify.

Comment on When apologies are only words by ade

ade — Mon, 10 Jun 2013 22:53:59 +0000

Hi,
Thanks for the write-up. I felt as if I was reading about my girlfriend. I have been trying to find an explanation to this. My girl friend gets angry easily, finds it difficult to apologize. We cannot sit down to solve issue, cos she flares out or claims what I am complaining about is not true or what I said she said is not true or tries to rationalize what is clearly wrong. Any time I tried to correct her on issues, it leads to argument because she doesnt like criticizim
I tried to be soft with her and patient with her. But the more I do, the more she does things with impunity. I realize I was losing control of the relationship but when I tried to put my feet on ground, it leads to argument such that we are about to break up.

Although I have seen that sometimes, she tries to change but I can see it is very difficult for her. Maybe she has formed a personalty.
I stil love her but I am worried that what could happen if she doesnt change
What do you advice?

Comment on Relationships with emotionally immature people by hsm

hsm — Mon, 21 Jan 2013 13:28:28 +0000

The more confidence you have in yourself, the more unwilling you will be spending your time with emotionally immature people. The most important thing is to face reality and see the situation (whatever that may be), as it is. Once you can see things clearly, it becomes easier to disconnect yourself from it. The best way to do that is to ask yourself, “Is this what I deserve?”, “Is this what I want from my life?”. Sometimes it may mean counseling. Sometimes all the counseling in the world won’t fix a situation. Some people are fundamentally too different, or unwilling or unable to change. You can’t do all the work to fix a relationship. Ultimately, no matter how much you love someone, if they cause you more grief than joy, or they don’t add value to your life and instead, subtract from it, then you must, for your own happiness, sever the relationship. That is the ultimate in self-love.

Comment on Relationships with emotionally immature people by Ryan

Ryan — Sun, 20 Jan 2013 23:53:46 +0000

Incredible article, thank you. I feel like I’m faced with people like this almost daily. I guess the first step to coming to terms with something is identifying it, and you did it perfectly. I am coming to terms with the fact that the world is full of emotionally immature people, and the best I can do is avoid them.